The People's Front of Lotus Notes
Paul Mooney proposes an excellent idea for the People's Front of Lotus Notes. Here's my proposed logo. I definitely want that T-shirt.
I'd love to attend the secret meeting where the People's Front plots their commando missions.
(continued...)
COMMANDO XERXES:
What exactly are the demands?
REG:
We're giving Mills two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the IBM Software Group and if he doesn't agree immediately, we execute her.
MATTHIAS:
Cut our nose off?
FRANCIS:
Cut all our bits off. Send 'em back on the hour every hour. Show them we're not to be trifled with.
REG:
And of course, we point out that they bear full responsibility when we chop us up, and that we shall not submit to blackmail!
COMMANDOS:
No blackmail!
REG:
They've bled us white, the bastards. They've taken everything we had, and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers' fathers.
LORETTA:
And from our fathers' fathers' fathers.
REG:
Yeah.
LORETTA:
And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers.
REG:
Yeah. All right, Stan. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?!
XERXES:
The web server?
REG:
What?
XERXES:
The web server.
REG:
Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that's true. Yeah.
COMMANDO #3:
And SMTP.
LORETTA:
Oh, yeah, SMTP, Reg. Remember what MTAs used to be like?
REG:
Yeah. All right. I'll grant you the web server and SMTP are two things that IBM have done.
MATTHIAS:
And Linux support.
REG:
Well, yeah. Obviously Linux support. I mean, Linux support goes without saying, don't it? But apart from SMTP, the web server, and Linux support--
COMMANDO:
iNotes.
XERXES:
Instant messaging.
COMMANDOS:
Huh? Heh? Huh...
COMMANDO #2:
Data integration.
COMMANDOS:
Ohh...
REG:
Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.
COMMANDO #1:
And roaming.
COMMANDOS:
Oh, yes. Yeah...
FRANCIS:
Yeah. Yeah, that's something we'd really miss, Reg, if support stopped. Huh.
COMMANDO:
The Java API.
LORETTA:
And it's safe to carry local replicas now, Reg.
FRANCIS:
Yeah, they certainly know how secure our data. Let's face it. They're the only ones who could in a place like the 'net.
COMMANDOS:
Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.
REG:
All right, but apart from SMTP, instant messaging, data integration, roaming, offline security, iNotes, Linux support, a web server, and the Java API, what has IBM ever done for us?
XERXES:
Lotusphere.
REG:
Oh. Lotusphere? Shut up!
(And yes, I realize Paul's proposal was being cheeky in the other direction. It's just too delicious a satire to ignore.)
Comments
Posted by Paul Mooney At 07:53:59 AM On 09/15/2008 |
Posted by Stuart McIntyre At 08:00:45 AM On 09/15/2008 |
Posted by Bill Brown At 08:23:50 AM On 09/15/2008 |
He told me it just doesn't have enough bite.
Posted by Craig Wiseman At 08:52:46 AM On 09/15/2008 |
Posted by John Head At 09:05:31 AM On 09/15/2008 |
PS Anybody wanna go in on some shirts for Sphere? :D
Posted by Rob McDonagh At 09:12:26 AM On 09/15/2008 |
Posted by Jess Stratton At 09:48:52 AM On 09/15/2008 |
Posted by Bruce Elgort At 09:57:44 AM On 09/15/2008 |
Rob - ping me about T-Shirts... actually think they would be very funny again.
Posted by Paul Mooney At 10:05:20 AM On 09/15/2008 |
Posted by Nathan T. Freeman At 10:15:49 AM On 09/15/2008 |
Posted by Toby Banks At 03:28:00 PM On 01/15/2009 |