In the Halls of MSFT (CAUTION: POLITICALLY INCORRECT)
WARNING: The follow dialog is neither real, nor polite. Read no further if you wish for only sincere content...
Microserf 1: Man, these Mac vs. PC ads are just killing us.
Microserf 2: Yeah, we need a campaign to counter them. Something that doesn't make us seem like middle management already-obsolete types.
Microserf 1: Or maybe we need a campaign that *identifies* with already-obsolete, middle management types!
Microserf 2: Huh?
Microserf 1: Well, it's not like the Justin Longs of the world are making enterprise purchasing decisions. Maybe the pudgy guy in a bad suit with ugly glasses is exactly the kind of image that our customers identify with.
Microserf 2: So... what... we need BillG to be the spokesman?
Microserf 1: Yeah... good point. Bill's over-exposed now.
Microserf 2: Maybe we need a spokesman that's identifiable to the real decision makers... the people that control the money.
Microserf 1: Well, obviously that's not going to be a spokesWOMAN!
Both: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Microserf 1: But seriously.... you think we need a Jewish spokesman?
Microserf 2: Sure. Shouldn't we identify with the people that actually decide things?
Microserf 1: Fair enough.... but who?
Microserf 2: Jon Stewart?
Microserf 1: Too honest.
Microserf 2: Ben Stiller?
Microserf 1: Too hip.
Microsert 2: Jeremy Piven?
Microserf 1: Too niche.
Microserf 2: Whoa... what about Larry David? He's hot right now!
Microserf 1: True, but... if we try to get someone who's a public figure NOW, that might draw attention to the fact that we haven't done anything interesting in the last 8 years.
Microserf 1: Ooh.... good point. Maybe we can find someone who was a prominent Jew back when we were hot.
Microserf 2: Oh.... ummmm... Gary Shandling!
Microserf 1: *scoff* WAY too ironic!
Microsert 2: Well, maybe we need Larry David's partner!
Microserf 1: Who... Jeff Garlin? I don't think he's Jewish.
Microserf 2: No... JERRY SEINFELD!
Microserf 1: Seinfeld?!?!? Really? That guy hasn't been famous for... like... 10 years.
Microserf 2: I know! That's what so perfect! Our target audience doesn't want to identify WITH the youth of America. They want to identify AGAINST them!
Microserf 1: Ah... instead of appealing to the popular 18-24 year-old demographic, we should appeal to the deep pockets of the 24-54 year-old demographic.
Microserf 2: EXACTLY!
Microserf 1: I think you might be on to something. But didn't Jerry prominently use a Mac on his show?
Microserf 2: Dude... we just need 8 numbers before the decimal. It's not MY money, is it?
Microserf 1: Good point. Okay, let's make the call.
PS: Note to IBM... should you feel tempted... allow me to suggest some names that might compete for popular mindshare: Seth Rogen, Neil Patrick Harris, Riann Wilson, Steven Colbert. And, honestly... that's only if you want to stay with white males. I encourage you to think more expansively than Apple or Microsoft -- perhaps by appealing to a group that's only been granted the right to vote in the last two centuries.




Comments
If there's any doubt, check out his Old Spice commercial. I buy OS now despite the fact that it makes me smell like a 76 year old longshoreman... but I digress.
Back to the topic - You almost have to wonder if that exact conversation didn't happen though; what the hell was Microsoft thinking?!
"I know, we'll get the guy from 'Bee Movie' - he's hip and cool, right?"
Posted by Chris Toohey At 11:49:56 PM On 08/21/2008 | - Website - |
But I digress - I can totally see the second half of the conversation taking place along those lines... My favorite line is "if we try to get someone who's a public figure NOW, that might draw attention to the fact that we haven't done anything interesting in the last 8 years."
I'm curious to see the actual campaign (and the results), myself. Although to be honest, I think we're almost at the point where people are going to give in to Vista out of inertia more than anything else. (I've got a new home PC purchase coming up, and am debating whether to back it down to XP or just leave it at Vista.)
Posted by Adam At 10:53:04 AM On 08/22/2008 | - Website - |
Posted by Jess Stratton At 11:10:31 AM On 08/22/2008 | - Website - |
Picture it now, Jerry did Amex commercials and loves his Porsche. Picture a Porsche running Windows or something along those lines.
There may be the sly remarks about just what does apple put int heir laptops that they cost 3-4 times a pc laptop? Same basic hardware, must be the white casing.
But time will tell.
Posted by Keith Brooks At 11:20:06 AM On 08/22/2008 | - Website - |
@2 - I realized I was pushing the boundaries here. I figured the readership knows me well enough to understand my sense of humor.
It's not *my* stereotype, but it was an interesting experience when I moved to NYC as a kid to discover how often people assumed it was. I'd regularly go to events where I'd be handed a name tag that said "Nathan Friedman."
To paraphrase the Bard, "Be not afraid of Judaism: some are born Jewish; some convert; and some have Judaism thrust upon them."
Posted by Nathan T. Freeman At 11:24:54 AM On 08/22/2008 | - Website - |
You know, in the right context, I could see him doing a great IT ad.
Posted by Erik Brooks At 04:39:28 PM On 08/22/2008 | - Website - |
Bruce (Campbell) is the man!
"Even a big bitch cockroach like you should know... never, but never, fuck with the King."
Posted by Chris Toohey At 04:46:02 PM On 08/22/2008 | - Website - |
Didn't JA make a showing at Lotusphere 2006?
Posted by Roland Reddekop At 07:43:49 PM On 08/23/2008 | - Website - |
Send me your e-mail address.
Posted by The T in NTF At 09:25:04 AM On 08/27/2008 | - Website - |
Posted by Elvis At 04:35:00 PM On 08/27/2008 | - Website - |
@2, Why not consider a Linux distro instead of business as usual Windows?
Posted by Bill Brown At 02:26:16 PM On 09/08/2008 | - Website - |